In search of America’s most bizarre attractions, we journey from Illinois and across the Midwest to Michigan, epicentre of America’s industrial heartland. Amidst the vast clutter of mundane car museums and tire factories, we discover four seriously strange roadside attractions, worthy of your visitation:
1. Pet Casket Factory Tours: Gladstone, Michigan
Choose the wrong coffin for your cat or dog and you could seriously compromise the quality of their afterlife. Chose the right one however, and they’ll be happily sniffing crotches and scratching furniture in pet heaven for eternity.
If you’re clueless about how to pick the right resting place for your pet, a visit to Gladstone’s Pet Casket Factory is a must. Here you’ll learn the inns and outs of pet coffin selection, and gain first hand insight into the manufacturing process.
The hermetic sealed coffins on display here come in seven standard sizes and are so air tight that they have been deemed “time capsule quality” (just in case you wanted to dig up Scruffy 20 years down the road). Doggy heaven is just a matter of time Cmd368 sports.
2. Singing Beach: Bete Grise, Michigan
Just lay your hand atop the smooth sand of Bete Grise and with a simple lateral rotation of your wrist, the beaches gentle singing voice comes to life. The mysterious voice is said to be that of an Ancient Indian maiden singing to her lover across the lake, though to us it sounded more like a mix between Cheryl Crow and Jewel. Disappointing considering we were after something a bit more Guns & Roses.
3. Circus Train Wreck Memorial: Durand, Michigan
On the eve of August 6th 1903, the brakes aboard the great Wallace Brother’s Circus Train gave out, causing the train to crash into another, killing dozens of performers and circus animals alike. Today, those with a circus freak fetish can pay tribute to this shrine of fallen eye poppers, contortionists, and bearded ladies. Bring a razor.
4. World Champion Cow Grave At An Insane Asylum: Traverse City, Michigan
During her lifetime, Colantha the cow pumped out more milk than any other bovine on record. Her milk filled thousands of glasses, graced countless cereal bowls, and helped bake cookies for families across the nation.
How better then to honour this world record setting cow then by laying her to rest in a grave site set on grounds of Michigan’s larges insane asylum (now defunct). If the story of Colantha’s life and death doesn’t put you in a melancholy mood, the decaying brick, chained porches, and bared windows of the surrounding institution certainly will.